Helping men and women find hope, help, healing, restoration and redemption
leading to lasting victory over sexual addiction through a growing, vibrant, powerful relationship with Christ.
Welcome to The Point of Purity Podcast. A weekly study filled to the brim with the all the tools from Scripture you will ever need to build a lasting life of Biblical purity. I’m your host Steve Etner, author, speaker, and purity coach for The Pure Man Ministry and this is our 100th Episode! In this episode we are going to continue our discussion about the choices we make and the consequences that follow.
Think about this as it relates to your sexual purity. If you want the consequences of your actions to be a sexual purity that honors and glorifies God; if you want to experience God’s blessing on your life, what actions must you choose right now to get those consequences later? This week’s episode is entitled “Ready, Set, Action!”
There’s an old adage that says, “you can choose your actions, but you cannot choose the consequences.” For example, I am free to choose the action of putting my hand underneath a running lawnmower. That’s an unwise choice (in my humble opinion), but I have the freedom to make that choice. However, I cannot choose whether those spinning blades will chop off my fingers or not. I can choose my actions, but I cannot choose the consequences.
I’m going to challenge that adage. I submit that you CAN choose the consequences, by choosing your actions! For example, I can choose the consequences of NOT losing my fingers simply by choosing the action of not putting my hand under a running lawnmower. Choice – consequences.
That’s the point of Genesis 4:7 – the text of Scripture we introduced you to in our last episode. If you choose to do what is right (if you choose to worship God), something wonderful will happen – you will be blessed, you will enjoy all that God has to offer. Choice – consequence. You can choose the consequence by choosing the action.
However, if you choose to do what is wrong (if you choose to let King Me remain on the throne of your heart and worship self), something different will happen – sin, shame, and guilt will consume you. Choice – consequence. You can choose the consequence by choosing the action.
Think about this as it relates to your sexual purity. If you want the consequences of your actions to be a sexual purity that honors and glorifies God; if you want to experience God’s blessing on your life, what actions must you choose right now to get those consequences later? This is a great question to discuss this with your accountability partner(s).
Consider this: The action you must choose right now is far more than just stopping your lust and putting a cease-and-desist order on looking at porn. It goes beyond no longer masturbating. Yes, you need to stop completely, and stop right now. That is a necessity. However, the action you must take goes much deeper.
What you must choose right now is far more than getting a good software program that blocks your access to porn. Again, yes, you should get something that blocks your access AND reports your activities to an accountability partner (personally I use and highly recommend Covenant Eyes). However, the action you must take goes even deeper than even this.
The action you must choose to take is even more than getting an accountability partner and meeting with him weekly. I am not saying having an accountability partner isn’t necessary. Quite the contrary. It is vital to your ongoing purity that you have an accountability partner that cares enough about you to ask you the hard questions and keeps you responsible. However, the action you must take is even greater.
The actions you must choose to do right now (from this point forward) of necessity includes daily reading God’s Word, daily talking with God (prayer), daily working on Scripture memorization, and daily worshiping God. Oh, and by the way, in case you missed it the first time – each of these must be done daily!
“If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must master it.” (Genesis 4:7 NIV’84)
It is vitally important you begin to understand that your choice to lust, to look at porn, to masturbate –to worship King Me – results in you being consumed by sin. You see, when you choose to yield to temptation, King Me ends up sitting on the throne in EVERY aspect of your life. Not God, you! Not certain parts of your life, all of it! Everything you think, say, and do has the fingerprints of King Me all over them.
Up till now, how successful have you been at governing your life?
In Joshua 1:8 God instructs Joshua (and us) to “not let this Book of the Law (IOW God’s Word) depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful.” OK, so now I have a question for you. According to this text, how successful would you be if you let God have complete reign over every part of your life? Let me read it to you again, listen closely. “Do not let this Book of the Law (IOW God’s Word) depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful.” (Joshua 1:8) Again let me ask: how successful would you be if you let God have complete reign over every part of your life?• Think about your life as a whole (not just as it relates to your sexual purity). What other areas of your life has King Me been your primary focus?
I must drive home this point: your choice to lust, your choice to look at porn, your choice to masturbate – your choice to do what is wrong – has resulted in you being consumed by sin. Not just sexual sin. You have focused your life on making King Me happy. You have chosen to worship a false god, which God says is idolatry. As a result, you have made sinful decisions based upon what you believe will make King Me feel good, satisfied, and fulfilled. Not only was sin crouching at the door of your heart, but it has pounced and has begun to devour every aspect of your life.
I challenge you to seriously think about this next point. When King Me is sitting on the throne of your heart, three things happen simultaneously, all at the same time, every time; guaranteed.
First, when King Me is sitting on the throne of your heart, you will worship King Me. That’s a given. Everything you think, everything you say, and everything you do will be naturally bent toward pleasing the King of Me. You will live life with the mindset that says, “I want. I need. I desire. I have to have. I can’t live without!”
Second, when King Me is sitting on the throne of your heart, not only are you worshiping King Me, but you will expect everything and everyone else to worship the king as well.
Think about it this way: In what ways have you seen that to be true in Your “free time”? Your marriage? Your family? Your workplace? Your home? Your driving? (Yes, you heard me correctly – even in your driving) Your technology (e.g., computer, tablet, smart phone, etc.)? Your worship experience at church? The fact is, when King Me is sitting on the throne of your heart, not only are you worshiping King Me, but you will expect everything and everyone else to worship the king as well.
Third, when King Me is sitting on the throne of your heart, not only are you worshiping the king and expecting everyone and everything around you to worship the king, but you will also expect God to worship King Me as well. Ouch!
Here is often how that looks. “God, I have been faithfully serving you. I am reading my Bible daily. I am taking captive my thoughts. I am treating my spouse well. I haven’t raised my voice at the kids, and I’ve kept a good attitude at work. I go to church every Sunday, I put my tithe in the offering plate, I serve on the board at church, I teach a Sunday School class, I sing in the choir–I’ve been good. So, God, you owe me! Why aren’t you blessing me? What else must I do to earn your favor?”
Although we may never directly say those things to God, sometimes we think them and occasionally we feel them. Especially when things aren’t going well or going our way. We may pray something like this, “God, why are you punishing me? What have I done that you are choosing not to bless me? What more do you want from me?” Can you see who’s sitting on the throne?
With every choice we make in life, there are consequences. Both seen and unseen. Both now and in the future. So, we need to learn how to choose the good consequences, by choosing the right actions.
In the past you have looked to lust, porn, masturbation, and sexual impurity to bring a warped sense of “satisfaction.” In the past you’ve trusted in your own ability to achieve some form of fulfillment. You’ve been going the wrong way down a one-way street.
I realize I cannot speak definitively for you here, but for me personally that King Me choice has never brought me what I anticipated or hoped for. It has never delivered the promised goods. The consequences received were vastly different than what I thought would happen. I was deceived.
Galatians 6:7-8 warns us, “Do not be deceived” (in other words: don’t let yourself be duped by the enemy; don’t listen to the lies of Satan) “God is not mocked, for whatever one sows” (whatever choice you make in the moment of your temptation) “that will he also reap” (you will receive the consequences of that choice). “For the one who sows to his own flesh” (the one who chooses to put King Me on the throne and worship self) “will from the flesh reap corruption,” (choice-consequence) “but the one who sows to the Spirit” (the one who chooses to put God first in every aspect of his life) “will from the Spirit reap eternal life” (Choice-Consequence).
“There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death.” (Proverbs 14:12)
I truly thought that lust, porn, and masturbation was the best way to finding satisfaction and a sense of fulfillment. I was deceived into believing that giving in was the way to being happy in life because it temporarily eased my pain and partially relieved the stress and frustration I felt. But the result was death. I nearly lost my marriage. I lost the admiration of my wife and children. I lost the respect of my friends at church. My mother literally took all her pictures of me and cut my face out of them. I lost four very good jobs because of my addiction. My relationship with God was severely strained. I even attempted suicide as a result (check out our testimony in the Introduction). When you choose the wrong way, the King Me way, the consequence of that choice will always be the death of something (usually many things) in your life.
However, IF you choose to trust, with all your heart, that God’s way of purity is far, far better – even though right now you may not be experiencing it; even though right now it is the hardest, most painful thing you have ever pursued – IF you choose to trust that God’s way of purity is far better, then the consequences of that choice are that He will help you along the way. He will not only show you the path to purity and lasting victory, but He will also give you His divine power to be pure (see 2 Peter 1:3) and you will find far more than what you’ve been searching for!
OK, we’re going to hit the pause button here until next week’s episode as we look forward to continuing this study. As we conclude this week’s powerful podcast, I’d like to take just a moment and give you a glimpse into our ministry. You see, we do a whole lot more here at The Pure Man Ministry than just producing a weekly podcast. We have a free APP entitled “My Purity Coach.” This app is chocked full of powerful tools to help you in your walk of purity. You’ll find tons of Scripture. Audio and video lessons from the Bible. You listen to this podcast from the app. You can even watch the globally acclaimed video series called “The Chosen” from this app!
We also have designed an online training resource called ChristianGrowthAcademy.com. There you will find a growing library of video courses geared to help you learn how to grow in your Christian walk.
If you’re a subscriber to this podcast, then you’ve heard me talk about our “Point of Purity Program” – a 12 week, 1-on-1, Bible-Centered coaching program taking you deep into Scripture to teach you how to develop a lifelong strategic plan for sexual purity. I’ve also talked on this podcast about the various books I have written which are all available both on my website (ThePurityCoach.com) and on Amazon.
As a faith-based, donor-supported ministry, all of this (and so much more) is only made possible by our team of ministry partners who give financially to this ministry. Without compromise The Purity Coach shows men and women how to have a continuous relationship with Jesus that is real and personal. To that end we need financial assistance from partners like you who are committed to providing hope and helping men and women across the globe win their personal battle against the beast of sexual impurity. I am personally inviting you to join us as we impact our world by equipping and training men and women how-to live-in purity, godliness, and integrity. To give your tax deductible gift to this ministry today, simply go to ThePurityCoach.com and click on the Donate button in the upper right corner. And thank you for partnering with us!
And if you haven’t subscribed to this podcast yet, let me encourage you to do so today so you won’t miss any of our upcoming episodes!
So, until next time this is Author, Speaker, and Purity Coach Steve Etner reminding you that if you are going to glorify God in your everyday living, He must first be glorified in your every moment thinking.