Helping men and women find hope, help, healing, restoration and redemption
leading to lasting victory over sexual addiction through a growing, vibrant, powerful relationship with Christ.
Would you like to know how to escape the temptation trap and effectively say “No!” to Lust, Porn and Masturbation? Do you desire to avoid the snare altogether and stop giving in to the beast? Would you like to know how to live completely and unreservedly for God? Do you long for the time when you never have to lie to cover up your sin? Then you’ve come to the right place my friend.
Welcome to The Point of Purity Podcast. A weekly study filled to the brim with the all the tools from Scripture you will ever need to build a lasting life of Biblical purity. I’m your host Steve Etner, author, national speaker, and purity coach for The Pure Man Ministry, and in this episode, we are going to deep dive into Scripture and look at King David’s Deceitful Disaster.
Over the last two episodes we’ve looked at Genesis 4:7. There we see God talking with Cain just before he kills his brother, Able. Here’s what God said: “If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must master it.” (Genesis 4:7 NIV’84)
Before we move on to our next part of this series, let me give you a real-world example of the truth of Genesis 4:7. Although you may already be familiar with it, I challenge you to take a moment here and read the story of King David’s sin with Bathsheba. Read 2 Samuel 11:1-12:22.
You may recall from previous episodes this point: with each and every choice you make – either good or bad, there will always be consequences. In the case of King David’s sin of adultery and murder, let’s consider the six choices David made and compare them with Genesis 4:7.
Choice #1: He stayed home from the war instead of doing his duty as king and leading his men into battle. “In the spring of the year, the time when kings go out to battle, David sent Joab, and his servants with him, and all Israel. And they ravaged the Ammonites and besieged Rabbah. But David remained at Jerusalem.” (2 Samuel 11:1)
Based upon his actions given in 2 Samuel 11:1, who do you think was sitting on the throne of David’s heart? What does God say about this? “A lazy person is as bad as someone who destroys things.” (Proverbs 18:9 NLT)
With King Me sitting high and mighty on the throne of David’s heart, he was lazy – choosing not to go with his men into battle. As we will soon see, destruction was in its wake. “Lazy people want much but get little, but those who work hard prosper.” (Proverbs 13:4 NLT) “Despite their desires, the lazy will come to ruin, for their hands refuse to work.” (Proverbs 21:25 NLT) “So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin.” (James 4:17)
That singular, self-centered, King Me choice influenced all of his other choices, and resulted in serious ramifications. Can you see that same truth evident in your own life? In what ways have your King Me choices had significant negative ramifications in your life? That’s something worth discussing with your accountability partner(s).
Here’s something I want you to seriously think about. How often do you read your Bible? I am referring to more than just a couple of verses out of the devotional for the day. I mean really, truly open your Bible and read, study, and dig into Scripture? I’m going to step out on a limb and wager that your answer – if you’re being totally honest – is “not very often” or “not as often as I should.” We will dive deeper into this topic in an upcoming episode, but for now let me point out the absolute necessity of developing the discipline of being in God’s Word DAILY.
Now let me ask you this: assuming that you are not choosing daily to dig into God’s Word, why not? I submit that one of the primary reasons – if you’re being totally honest – is laziness. “It’s too much work. I don’t have the time. I don’t understand what I’m reading most of the time anyway, so why bother?” My friend, I challenge you to think about David’s “Choice #1”. Let it speak deep into your chest. You have been guilty of making the same choice as David.
We are at war! No, I’m not talking about physical warfare against an opposing nation. I’m referring to the most important battle you will ever engage in; a life-long battle known as spiritual warfare. “For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds. We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ.” (2 Corinthians 10:4-5)
This is why you must “put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil. For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.” (Ephesians 6:11-12 NLT)
God makes it clear that in this war you must “be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.” (1 Peter 5:8) “So then, let’s not sleep as other do (let’s not be lazy, let’s not be like David), but let’s be alert and sober.” (1 Thessalonians 5:6 NASB addition mine)
What choices are you making?
Choice #2: He chose to continue looking at Bathsheba bathing, allowing the look to turn to lust. Remember, when King Me is sitting on the throne of your heart, you see nothing wrong with the choices King Me is making. “It happened, late one afternoon, when David arose from his couch and was walking on the roof of the king’s house, that he saw from the roof a woman bathing; and the woman was very beautiful.” (2 Samuel 11:2)
What should David have done the instant he saw Bathsheba bathing? What should you do the instant you see something even slightly sexually arousing? “He who walks righteously ... shuts his eyes from looking on evil.” (Isaiah 33:15) “I will not set before my eyes anything that is worthless.” (Psalm 101:3) “Turn my eyes from looking at worthless things” (Psalm 119:37)
When you choose to allow the look to turn to lust you “have eyes full of adultery, insatiable for sin.” (2 Peter 2:14) “Each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.” (James 1:14-15)
What choices are you making?
Choice #3: He chose to pursue his lust instead of instantly destroying it before it got out of hand. “And David sent and inquired about the woman. And one said, ‘Is not this Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam, the wife of Uriah the Hittite.” (2 Samuel 11:3)
Don’t miss this. Bathsheba wasn’t a thing. She wasn’t an object of pleasure there for the whims and wishes of David. She was a real person. She was God’s creation. She was someone’s daughter. She was someone’s wife.
When you choose to lust, when you choose to look at porn and masturbate to it, that person you are lusting after is not a thing or an object of pleasure there for your fancy. They are a person; a living, breathing human being. Someone’s child. Possibly someone’s spouse. Someone Jesus died for, not your play toy there for your pleasure and amusement. “Put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires.” (Romans 13:14)
In what ways did David make “provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires?” In what ways are you making “provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires”? “But I say, walk by the spirit and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.” (Galatians 5:16)
What choices are you making?
Choice #4: David chose to have sex with a married woman (committing adultery) instead of honoring the sanctity of marriage that God had established. Remember: if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at the door, and it desires to consume you. “David sent messengers and took her, and she came to him, and he lay with her. ... Then she returned to her house.” (2 Samuel 11:4)
David didn’t just have sex with a married woman, he himself was already married (see 1 Samuel 18:20-29). No matter how you slice it, this was flat-out adultery. This was in direct defiance to God’s commands in Scripture. “You shall not commit adultery.” (Exodus 20:14) “He who commits adultery lacks sense; he who does it destroys himself.” (Proverbs 6:32) “If a man is found lying with the wife of another man, both of them shall die, the man who lay with the woman, and the woman. So you shall purge the evil.” (Deuteronomy 22:22) “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.” (Hebrews 13:4)
What about you? Are you guilty of adultery? (Carefully consider Matthew 5:28 before you answer) “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman (or a man) with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” (Matthew 5:27-28 addition mine)
Let me quickly point out here that if you are looking at porn, if you are lusting after another person, if you are engaging in sexual fantasy, even if you are not literally participating in the physical act of having sex with someone you’re not married to – God says you ARE committing adultery because you’re doing it in your head and in your heart.
What choices are you making?
Choice #5: David chose to lie and deceive, covering up his sin, by attempting to bribe Uriah, encouraging him to sleep with his wife (see 2 Samuel 11:6-13). Don’t ever forget Genesis 4:7. Sin is crouching at your door. It wants to have you. It wants to consume every part of your life. Think about how it consumed every part of David’s life. It wants to do the same thing with you!
“You shall not deal falsely; you shall not lie to one another.” (Leviticus 19:11) “Lying lips are an abomination to the LORD, but those who act faithfully are his delight.” (Proverbs 12:22) “A false witness will not go unpunished, and he who breathes out lies will perish.” (Proverbs 19:9)
In what ways have you been lying in an attempt to cover up your sins? “Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator.” (Colossians 3:9-10)
What choices are you making?
Choice #6: He chose to have Bathsheba’s husband Uriah murdered instead of obeying the sixth commandment of his Creator (see 2 Samuel 11:14-26) “You shall not murder.” (Exodus 20:13 and Deuteronomy 5:17)
Once again let me remind you of Genesis 4:7 which warns that sin is crouching at your heart’s door. The beast is watching and waiting for the door to open even the slightest crack so it can pounce. It wants you. It wants to devour and consume every part of your life! “Whoever takes a human life shall surely be put to death.” (Leviticus 24:17) “Whoever sheds the blood of man, by man shall his blood be shed, for God made man in his own image.” (Genesis 9:6)
What choices are you making?
Those six choices David made were significant, impactful, life-altering choices. Each choice led him deeper and deeper into sin. “If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must master it.” (Genesis 4:7 NIV’84)
Are you beginning to grasp the significance of Genesis 4:7? Do you understand why it is so vital to your purity that you have this verse permanently etched into your memory? You have a choice, and with each choice there are consequences. Each of David’s six choices brought about serious consequences.
This particular text is powerful enough that it’s worth pausing for a moment to consider all that God has done for you. Stop right now and think of all the things God has blessed you with. Be sure to remember even the “small stuff” as well as the major things.
Now, understand this: “If this were too little” God says, “I would add to you as much more. Why have you despised the word of the LORD, to do what is evil in his sight?” Why have you chosen to reject all of God’s blessings in favor of your own sinful, sexual passions? Why have you despised God’s standards, God’s principles of purity, God’s promises to meet all your needs, just so you could enjoy some forbidden pleasure?
Was it worth it? Was it worth the momentary pleasure it brought David? What about you? Has it been worth the momentary pleasure it’s brought you? “Therefore what benefit were you then deriving from the things of which you are now ashamed? For the outcome of those things is death.” (Romans 6:21 NASB)
Finally, consider this: if David had made the right choice to begin with, had he chosen to remove King Me from the throne of his heart and instead join his men in battle for the protection of his kingdom, what would have happened to all the other choices? Let’s look one more time at David’s choices. Only this time, let’s consider what choices he should have made.
What choices are you making? What are the consequences of those choices?
OK, we’re going to hit the pause button here until next week’s episode as we look forward to continuing this study.
If you would like to learn more about today’s study, or if you’re interested in learning more about our ministry, be sure to visit our website to see the multitude of resources we’ve made available to you – you can find our website at ThePurityCoach.com
One of these powerful resources we are making available to you is my book called “Overcoming Temptation: 4 Steps to Spiritual Victory.” You see, saying “No” to temptation and choosing to live an upright and godly life is a daily decision you must make. Every time you are faced with a temptation, you are also faced with a decision: Do I give in, or do I stand firm in my faith and fight it? Do I yield to the leading of the Holy Spirit and live to glorify God, or do I focus on King Me and give in to my fleshly desires?
This book “Overcoming Temptation: 4 Steps to Spiritual Victory” presents, in a very clear and practical way, how to live a life that is holy and pure, how to say no to sin and live by the Spirit in a way that glorifies your creator, your Savior, your Heavenly Father. Again, the title of this book is “Overcoming Temptation: 4 Steps to Spiritual Victory.” You can find it on Amazon.com or on my website (ThePurityCoach.com) in our Resources section.
And if you have not yet subscribed to this podcast, let me encourage you to do so today so you won’t miss any of our upcoming episodes!
So, until next time this is Author, Speaker, and Purity Coach Steve Etner reminding you that if you are going to glorify God in your everyday living, He must first be glorified in your every moment thinking.