The Point of Purity Podcast

Episode #92 - It's Time to Change

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 Helping men and women find hope, help, healing, restoration and redemption
leading to lasting victory over sexual addiction through a growing, vibrant, powerful relationship with Christ.

Episode #92 "It's Time to Change"


Are you – or a family member or close friend – struggling with sexual purity? Do you find yourself fighting a never-ending battle? Are you feeling discouraged, convinced that you’ll never be free from the lure of lust, the pull of porn, and the magnet of masturbation? Well welcome to what promises to be the launch of a powerful change in your life.

This is The Point of Purity Podcast. I’m your host, Steve Etner, Author, National Speaker, and Purity Coach for The Pure Man Ministry. For some of you listening, being purely satisfied with a perfect purity may feel like a mountain too high to climb and a wall too thick to breach. Let me assure you that’s not the case. The more you walk down the path of purity, the easier it will be to travel. In fact, I want to assure you that one day soon it can become a super-highway that you’re traveling with great joy. Oh, my friend – it’s time to change!

Please understand that the pursuit of perfect purity is a process that will take time. I’m sure you already know this. I’m also fairly certain that you don’t like it. Who would? You may be listening to me right now thinking, “It sure would be much better for the problem to be instantly resolved and the battle to immediately (“poof”) go away.” Right?

My own personal experience with sexual temptations and years of coaching and mentoring others assures me that it won’t. This is a process. A journey that will include many battles (as well as some awesome victories). Sometimes there will be small skirmishes and others outright war. You will experience great victories and the occasional discouraging defeat.

But understand this: the purpose of the process isn’t the promotion. It’s not about you being free from this battle. It’s not about you restoring your marriage, saving your job, or repairing the emotional damage you’ve inflicted upon others. Nor is it about you stopping the lust, porn, and masturbation. No. The purpose of the process is praise. It’s about God receiving the honor and glory for giving you His power to win the battle (2 Peter 1:3). It’s about you living a life that is purely satisfied so that God is glorified through the victory that He has given (and is giving) you.

At times this journey has felt difficult and even a bit challenging. Am I right? Through this and our upcoming episodes, you will be confronted with surrendering things that won’t want to be abandoned. There will be moments where you may be tempted to just quit altogether. You may find yourself wanting to give up and give in once–and–for–all to the overwhelming, relentless temptations that have been hounding you for months (maybe even years). I know, I’ve been there.

Some of you are here because at some level you recognize the enormity of the battle for purity, and you are tired – so very tired of struggling. This habit (dare we call it an addiction?), like an all-consuming cancer has spread its nasty, filthy tendrils into multiple parts (maybe even all aspects) of your life including work, marriage, family, church, and probably much more than you care to admit. As we take this journey together over the next few weeks, I’m going to share a lot of Scripture with you. So, let me warn you right up front that the Word of God will dig deep into your soul, it will penetrate your mind and your will; and it will show you the problem as God sees it – as well as the solution as God gives it.

For over 30 years of my life, I was addicted to the 3-headed dragon of lust, porn, and masturbation. When I was forced to confront my sin head-on, I was terrified of the unknown. I was worried about what was going to happen when I was no longer able to relieve my stress, frustration, and boredom through porn and masturbation. Apprehension over what God was going to do (or not do) to help me gripped me in fear. Can you relate?

Let me take a moment to encourage you with these words from Isaiah 41:10. “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” That verse has been (and still is) a great comfort and reassurance for me.

Oh, my friend, God is speaking to you right now. Yes, giving up lust, surrendering porn and masturbation, defeating the 3-headed dragon may seem like a monumental task in front of you, a mountain too high to climb and an obstacle too hard to overcome. I know I sure felt that way when I began the process. God is saying to you, “don’t let that overwhelm you! Don’t be anxious about this.” Why? Because as God He will not just give you the strength you need to get through this, He will help you along the way. And He will not just help you, He will hold you up when you feel like you just can’t go any further. You’re not alone. Your Creator, your Savior, your Heavenly Father, and best friend – the Almighty, All-Powerful, Most Holy God, the Creator of the Universe is on your side. In fact, He’s right here with you even now!

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous.
Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the LORD
your God is with you wherever you go.” (Joshua 1:9)

Throughout Scripture God is encouraging us to “not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.” (Galatians 6:9) I’m here to tell you this is not fiction or fancy; this is fact – it’s the Gospel truth! You will reap a life of purity; you will live purely satisfied if you do not give up!

Yes, this is going to take determination and hard work on your part. The Wizard of the Word (God) isn’t going to wave His magic wand and make your struggle against sexual impurity just go away. More than likely, He will not give you instant victory. You are going to have to do your part in working at being and remaining pure. I am here with this podcast to help you with that.

God’s promise in Galatians 6:9 is that you will reap, you will be successful, you will be pure if you do not give up. Why? Because “All things are possible with God.” (Mark 10:27)

“Take courage! Do not let your hands be weak,
for your work shall be rewarded.” (2 Chronicles 15:7)

Right now, you may find these promises in Scripture hard to believe. Maybe you feel abandoned, isolated, and vulnerable. You may be listening to this podcast as a last-ditch-effort. Possibly you’re even doubting that anyone can truly help you because it feels like no one really understands. You are not alone in this battle. I was there (be sure to listen to Episode 45 where I share my personal testimony of my 30-year battle with this addiction). That is why you must learn to draw near to God, raise your sword high, stand your ground, and firmly resist the enemy watching him flee from you like a whipped pup. (James 4:7)

“If you know these things, blessed are you if you do them.” (John 13:17)

God’s Word helps you discover what those “things” are that God wants you to know. His promise here is that if you do those things He reveals to you from Scripture, you will be blessed – you will experience real happiness, lasting peace, genuine freedom, and life–long victory as you choose daily to walk in obedience to your Heavenly Father. Isn’t that what you really want?

“Blessed rather are those who hear the word of God and keep it!” (Luke 11:28)

Over the next few episodes, we will be investing a lot of time focusing our attention on what God says in His Word. You will be exposed to the power of Scripture in every episode of this journey. Understand that the key to lasting victory in your life is not just hearing God’s word but daily choosing to DO God’s word whether you feel like it or not. The blessing comes not in the knowing but in the doing.

“Be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. ...
The one who looks into the perfect law, the law of liberty, and perseveres,
being no hearer who forgets but a doer who acts, he will be
blessed in his doing.” (James 1:22, 25)

When you choose to be a doer of the word and not a hearer only; when you choose to do what is right, not only will you be blessed and happy, but God promises you will have peace.

God will “keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on (Him),
because he trusts in (Him).” (Isaiah 26:3)

Oh, how we long for peace. Not a surface, smile–because–you’re–happy kind of peace. Rather, a deep down in your heart contentment–no–matter–what full–of–joy kind of peace.

Think about that. The reason you struggle finding and experiencing that “perfect peace” is because your mind is not resting upon or focused and fixed upon God. Your thinking has been muddled and muddied with thoughts of King Me proportions. Consider this: “What you think becomes what you do.” The mind that is fixed on God, the mind that doesn’t wander off the path of godliness into the snares of temptation, the mind that is fully surrendered to God will be the mind that is at perfect peace.

I’m going to safely assume that one of the reasons that you’re listening is because deep in your heart you are missing the “peace of God.” (Philippians 4:7) As a result, there is a conflict between what your flesh wants and what God wants – and it’s messing with your life. Believe me, I know. I experienced that conflict for over 30 years, and I was a very miserable man.

The apostle Paul describes it this way: “For the flesh sets its desire against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; for these are in opposition to one another, so that you may not do the things that you please.” (Galatians 5:17)

For the born–again believer who is struggling with sexual purity, there is a definite conflict of interest going on inside of him. King Me wants one thing; God wants something totally different. The struggle is real. Some days are better than others, but the battle rages on.

The Biblical principle I want you to grasp here is this: when you choose to do what is right, when you daily make the conscious choice to dethrone King Me and allow God to be Lord of your life – all of your life, all of the time – that is when you will have genuine, lasting, perfect peace.

Jesus said, “I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace.” (John 16:33) Peace, true godly peace, will never be found in lust, porn, or masturbation. I’m not telling you anything new here, you already know this because you’ve been living it. Sexual impurity will never give you genuine peace. Instead, it produces guilt, shame, stress, frustration, conflict – anything but peace. The peace you are seeking can only be found in Christ.

When you choose to allow the Word of God to fill your heart and your mind (Colossians 3:17), AND you also choose to walk in daily obedience to your Heavenly Father (1 John 5:3), a tremendous by-product of that choice is a deep, unshakeable peace. But not just any peace–God’s perfect peace.

Philippians 4:7 guarantees that “the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Do you want that kind of peace? Do you want your heart and mind protected from giving in to sexual temptation? Daily, moment–by–moment make the hard choice to do what is right. Focus fully on daily surrendering to the Lordship and leadership of Christ in every part of your life. I promise you won’t regret it.

Yes, that will be hard at first. Yes, you will face great opposition from the enemy. Yes, you will feel like giving up. Just understand this (Philippians 4:9): “What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me – practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.”

Not only will the God of peace be with you, but He also promises, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you.” (John 14:27) Did you catch that? Not just any ol’ peace will He give you. His peace. Perfect peace.

“Great peace have those who love your law; nothing can make them stumble.” (Psalm 119:165)

Oh, don’t miss this my friend. Fill your mind with God’s Word, choose to walk in obedience to God’s principles of purity and not only will you have a “great peace”, but you will not stumble, you will not fall, you will not sin, you will not give in to your sexual temptations. Isn’t that what you want?

OK, we’re going to hit the pause button here until next week’s episode as we look forward to continuing this study. Before we conclude this week’s episode, I’d like to take just a moment and give you a glimpse into our ministry. You see, we do a whole lot more here at The Pure Man Ministry than just producing a weekly podcast. We have a free APP entitled “My Purity Coach.” This app is chocked full of powerful tools to help you in your walk of purity. You’ll find tons of Scripture. Audio and video lessons from the Bible. You can even listen to this podcast from the app. Again, that App is entitled “My Purity Coach.”

We also have designed an online training resource called There you will find a growing library of affordable video courses geared to help you learn how to grow in your Christian walk.

If you’re a subscriber to this podcast, then you’ve heard me talk about our “Point of Purity Program” – a 12 week, 1-on-1, Bible-Centered coaching program taking you into Scripture to teach you how to develop a lifelong strategic plan for sexual purity. And I often talk on this podcast about the various books I have written.

As a faith-based, donor-supported ministry, all of this (and so much more) is only made possible by our team of ministry partners who give financially to this ministry. Without compromise The Purity Coach shows men and women how to have a continuous relationship with Jesus that is real and personal.

To that end we need ongoing financial assistance from partners like you who are committed to providing hope and helping men and women across the globe win their personal battle against the beast of sexual impurity.

If this Point of Purity podcast has been a blessing to you, if it’s ministered to you, encouraged you, challenged your walk with Christ, would you please join our team of Point of Purity Partners as we impact our world by equipping and training men and women how-to live-in purity, godliness, and integrity. Your financial support of any amount to this ministry will go a long way toward helping men and women find the victory and freedom that only Christ can – and will – give!

To give your tax deductible gift to this ministry today, simply go to and click on the Donate button in the upper right corner. And thank you for partnering with us!

So, until next time this is Author, Speaker, and Purity Coach Steve Etner reminding you that if you are going to glorify God in your everyday living, He must first be glorified in your every moment thinking.

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